


Why We Don't Let Dead End Give Combat Briefings, aka Obedient Dead End

by Dragoness Eclectic (DragonessEclectic)



Series: Stunticon Stories [12]
Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: 28 Dead Ends, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 22:19:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1444894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonessEclectic/pseuds/Dragoness%20Eclectic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[G1, post-S2, S3 framing bit] Wildrider explains one of Megatron's standing orders to Cyclonus. Exactly What It Says On The Tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why We Don't Let Dead End Give Combat Briefings, aka Obedient Dead End

"No sir, we don't let Dead End give the briefings. Megatron himself gave _that_ order," Wildrider told Cyclonus.

The new Decepticon Air Commander and Second-in-Command gave the Stunticon a skeptical look. Skepticism on the face of Cyclonus combined the hauteur of ancient nobility with the subtle threat of an immensely powerful, serenely confident leader who requires his underling to stop babbling nonsense and explain himself right now.

"Why" asked the tall, purple Decepticon starfighter, "did Megatron give such an order? Dead End is the most intelligent and coherent of you Stunticons; he is the logical choice for briefing others on the Stunticon's part in the operation."

"Well, see, that's what Starscream said, back in 1987 that time..." Wildrider says, and launches into his tale.

* * *

Motormaster waited patiently for Megatron; as soon as the Decepticon leader arrived, Soundwave would start the combat briefing. Gathered in the briefing room along with the Stunticons were Soundwave, Blitzwing, Dirge, Thrust and Ramjet.

Instead, Starscream arrived. "Megatron is busy; as second-in-command, I will fill in for him--just like I would if he were to become incapacitated or otherwise unfit to lead! Soundwave, get on with it!"

Soundwave gave Starscream a long look. "Affirmative. Motormaster: Explain Stunticon operations."

Motormaster turned lazily to look at Starscream and smirked contemptuously. "Yeah. Me and the boys--"

"Stop!" Starscream snapped harshly. "I want a briefing from someone who can speak the language like he actually knew what the words meant! Have Dead End give the briefing; he actually has a functioning neural processor and won't get a nervous _breakdown_ from being looked at!"

Motormaster scowled. "I lead the Stunticons, I give the briefings."

"Are you disobeying a direct _order_ , Motormaster?" Starscream snarled and his arm guns whined as they charged up. "I am second-in-command of ALL Decepticons, including YOU!"

Drag Strip piped up with "Yeah, Motormaster always does the talking so we don't have to! Besides, the Deadster really ain't the guy you want giving this briefing. He wouldn't like it, either."

A smirk of cruel amusement spread over Motormaster's face. "Too bad we're fighting a war, and you gotta do something you don't like. Orders is orders. Dead End, brief them." Motormaster sat down, still smirking.

"Yes, sir," Dead End replied in a sullen, morose tone. He rose to his feet, expressionless behind his mask and visor. 

"We Stunticons are scheduled to assault random targets here, here and there," Dead End indicated selected highway interchanges on the map, "disrupting traffic and drawing off emergency and military responders. Given the Autobot concern for human life, they should respond first to our attack, allowing Starscream's air unit to breach the defenses at the facility here unopposed and to insert Soundwave and his cassettes into the control room."

Motormaster looked bored; Starscream looked pleased with the clarity and conciseness of Dead End's briefing... then Dead End started adding his own analysis. 

"However, given that the likely Autobot response to a Stunticon attack is to send Aerialbots, and to humans in danger would be to send the Protectobots, we will certainly have to form Menasor--if none of us are casualties of Aerialbot weapons by that point," Dead End's tone of voice suggested that is highly unlikely. Motormaster began to smirk again.

"Based on previous experience, Menasor will induce the formation of Superion and Defensor. I estimate that Menasor will be dismembered with total casualty within 5000 astroseconds. Without Menasor to engage them, Superion will engage the air unit and destroy them, either as a gestalt, or will separate to pursue and destroy them. Defensor will then terminate Soundwave, and the cassettes will be hunted down and destroyed individually." Dead End's tone suggested that this is all very lamentable, and why didn't we just not bother? He began to explain just _how_ each and every one of them could be taken out by which Autobot weapons--

"DEAD END! I did NOT ask for your analysis!" Starscream snapped, with perhaps the tiniest edge of hysteria in his tone. 

Starscream glared at Motormaster; the hulking truck-former _still_ smirked inexplicably; he was all but grinning! The rest of the Stunticons didn't look particularly phased. The same could not be said of the Coneheads. Dirge looked at the battle map like it was an order for his execution; Thrust and Ramjet looked distinctly unhappy. Blitzwing scowled, but that was normal for him. Soundwave's expression was as unreadable as Dead End's, though his hand had risen to rest gently against his cassette chamber when Dead End had analyzed the cassetticons likely fate; he was not as unworried as he looked.

Starscream stared at the battle map himself; damn Dead End! Why hadn't he seen this possibility himself? Megatron's plan was going to get them all killed; once again, their mighty leader had proved himself unfit to lead. How could he get out of this?

"Starscream, did you finish the briefing yet?" Megatron's familiar, gravelly voice startled Starscream out of his tangled thoughts. The Decepticon Leader strode in the door and looked at his officers. Motormaster smiled and gave Megatron a respectful nod; Dirge still stared fearfully at the battle map while Thrust and Ramjet looked uneasily at Megatron, half-afraid to meet his gaze. Blitzwing glared back defiantly, and Soundwave was Soundwave, as usual.

"I sense a disappointing lack of enthusiasm for _my_ plan, Starscream. What did you tell them?" Megatron growled.

"I-I didn't tell them anything! I had Soundwave and Dead End give the briefing!" Starscream all but yelped.

"You had _Dead End_ give the Stunticon briefing?" Megatron asked incredulously. "Dead End! Repeat what you told Starscream!"

Dead End flinched at Megatron's tone. "Sir? I--yes, sir." How had he offended Megatron? He repeated his initial briefing, and started into the analysis again. As he spoke, the other Decepticons around the room seemed to sink in on themselves.

"STOP!" Megatron held up one hand. In the sudden silence, Motormaster's quiet snicker stood out like a giggle at a funeral.

Megatron clenched the hand into a fist and punched Motormaster in the side of the head, denting his massive cowl, then backhanded Starscream with the side of his cannon.

"Starscream, you dolt! The Protectobots are on _Cybertron_ , and cannot possibly respond. As for you, Motormaster--Dead End is never to give briefings again! Do you understand me?" The threat in Megatron's voice was unmistakable. 

"Yes, sir," replied Motormaster. " _Your_ orders  _will_ be obeyed."

"Of course they will," Megatron said, calmer now. "As for you, Starscream--never attempt to micromanage the Stunticons again! Once again, you prove your incompetence at anything resembling leadership!"

Starscream glared furiously at Megatron but said nothing. He shot Motormaster a dirty look that promised, _Someday you'll pay for this!_

Motormaster gave the Air Commander a smug smile in return.  _Yeah, you and what three armies?_

Dead End simply sighed; now both Starscream and Megatron probably wanted him dead. Friendly fire was such an  _unfriendly_ way to go.

* * *

"...and that is why Dead End don't give no briefings outside the Stunticons!" Wildrider concluded. "Like Soundwave said back then,  'Dead End: deleterious to morale'".

Cyclonus nodded. "I see. A wise decision by Megatron. Motormaster allows Dead End to brief yourselves?"

"Eh, we're used to the Deadster and his screwy outlook. See, he's good at figuring all the ways a mission can go pear-shaped, so Big M just makes sure we got the possibilities covered. That, and we know it can't possibly get  _worse_ than Dead End figures, so it's all upslope from there!"

\-- FIN --


End file.
